早已习惯，
你
一次又一次的
伤害
早已习惯，
你
一次又一次的
忽冷忽热
早已习惯，
你
一次又一次的
利用我
早已习惯，
你
一次又一次的
自私
早已习惯
让
自己沉浸在
一层又一层的
谎言中
眼泪麻醉不了伤痛
笑容催眠不了沮丧
好想好好走下去
却连一步都无法迈进
我累了。。。
这个游戏，
我玩不起，
我投降了。
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The celebration for last day of 21 years old
09 - 11 - 2010
I had a small yet special celebration for my coming 22 years old birthday!!
Although it is not a luxury celebration,
im satisfied with it :)
because i have you with me... *seriously im so damn grateful*
the most disappointing part is where i don't hv the chance to blow candles, make a wish & cut my cake.
i have a nice & enjoying night ~
This is my first time i celebrate the day before my birthday
This is the first time there is someone beside me to greet me happy birthday when it hits 12am on my day...
Thanks for everything ~
the so called 'birthday cake'
wonder to light up the candle for it
Am i deserve ur love & ur care?
kinda surprised that u prepare present for me :p
i treasure it ♥
I had a small yet special celebration for my coming 22 years old birthday!!
Although it is not a luxury celebration,
im satisfied with it :)
because i have you with me... *seriously im so damn grateful*
the most disappointing part is where i don't hv the chance to blow candles, make a wish & cut my cake.
i have a nice & enjoying night ~
This is my first time i celebrate the day before my birthday
This is the first time there is someone beside me to greet me happy birthday when it hits 12am on my day...
Thanks for everything ~
our dinner on that day
the so called 'birthday cake'
wonder to light up the candle for it
Am i deserve ur love & ur care? ♥ the first present i received ♥
kinda surprised that u prepare present for me :pi treasure it ♥
its the time for it...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
This is my OctOBER
F'king day ever...
It's friday and it supposedly to be relax and nice day. Yet it was not. I been busy for the whole morning. Im trying to get my work done and been rushing with all i can to get everything ready and complete. But, i failed... Kinda depressed! Even though my stomach pain like hell, my back cause me suffer that much, i don't even bother on it :'( *I hate pms during my working time*
Frustrating is all i get from time to time...
Lack of determination.
Lack of strong mentality.
Sighs.. *Wondering whether i can cope with it and get over with it soon*
The same question keep pestering my mind:" Am i suppose to leave now and look for better opportunity?" or "Should i continue with what deserve to?"
The night... - bbq steamboat buffet -
I can't really enjoys and have fun. I was trying so hard to hide it. Then only i realise it is hard and tough to be act as normal when you're really not. Burst into tears when home... At the moment, there is no one for me to turn to. I don't know who can i find for that minute. Previously the one who is always there for me no longer appear. I know i couldn't find him anymore when i have something to tell.
It's friday and it supposedly to be relax and nice day. Yet it was not. I been busy for the whole morning. Im trying to get my work done and been rushing with all i can to get everything ready and complete. But, i failed... Kinda depressed! Even though my stomach pain like hell, my back cause me suffer that much, i don't even bother on it :'( *I hate pms during my working time*
Frustrating is all i get from time to time...
Lack of determination.
Lack of strong mentality.
Sighs.. *Wondering whether i can cope with it and get over with it soon*
The same question keep pestering my mind:" Am i suppose to leave now and look for better opportunity?" or "Should i continue with what deserve to?"
The night... - bbq steamboat buffet -
I can't really enjoys and have fun. I was trying so hard to hide it. Then only i realise it is hard and tough to be act as normal when you're really not. Burst into tears when home... At the moment, there is no one for me to turn to. I don't know who can i find for that minute. Previously the one who is always there for me no longer appear. I know i couldn't find him anymore when i have something to tell.
standing at the crossroads
it is so hazy
and i cant see the light
lost in my way...
Monday, October 18, 2010
Put a smile on face :)
I had the worst feeling today...
All the troublesome conquer my mind badly
I don't wanna think about it
yet i just cant get rid of it from my mind..
WHat the HELL man...
I really don't know what is actually in his mind
& how i gonna face him
Please don't fool me again and again..
I can't resist
I will smiles
whenever i can
wherever i go....
EVerything gonna be alright ~
All the troublesome conquer my mind badly
I don't wanna think about it
yet i just cant get rid of it from my mind..
WHat the HELL man...
I really don't know what is actually in his mind
& how i gonna face him
Please don't fool me again and again..
I can't resist
I will smiles
whenever i can
wherever i go....
EVerything gonna be alright ~
Sunday, October 10, 2010
10.10.10
The day is so blue without you...
You'll never know how much i wish to have your companion. I know i had disqualified to voice out my wants neither to request anything. I can't expect anything again... never and never...
I still remember the day of 09.09.09. It had been a nice and wonderful day as i have them together with me. Buddies who are being with me in my 3 years degree life :) *appreciated them alot* imissyouguys...
Today is 10.10.10 and i feel so moody. The feeling of being left alone is so damn bitter.
You'll never know how much i wish to have your companion. I know i had disqualified to voice out my wants neither to request anything. I can't expect anything again... never and never...
I still remember the day of 09.09.09. It had been a nice and wonderful day as i have them together with me. Buddies who are being with me in my 3 years degree life :) *appreciated them alot* imissyouguys...
Today is 10.10.10 and i feel so moody. The feeling of being left alone is so damn bitter.
when the wound had been dig out again,
all the pressure and burden of pain push me down
hardly to breath...
i can't sense you in the air surrounded me again...
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
OCTober rOCK ♥
There are plenty of troubles happened on me during this period. I'm really sick of it. Will the coming month bring me luck and everything gonna be smoothly?
The day he walked away, i being silent and left everything to myself. I put all the blame on myself and try to be good. I guess l had learned a lesson from him and also others. Im glad and appreciated something unexpected happen since two weeks ago. I dare not to request or question anything even though i wish to know. Im always wondering... Yet i will accept all the fact. A GAME is just a GAME. When it started, it will continue till it come to the time of GAME OVER.
*Are there any memories that can be delete permanently?*
*what does it means when you said you can't delete me from your mind?*
*and where were you when i need you the most at crucial period?*
*do you actually look into my eyes, put me in mind?*
*Stop thinking nonsense, TANYIQIAN!!!*
A real working life
Being in the real working life is not as fun as i thought. First day of working, it is nice to meet and know so many people there. However, everything is so new to me. I felt so strange. EVeryone are there for me, all friends and family are giving full support to me. I really don't wish to disappointed them. I got no confident to cope with it yet i must force myself to adapt and get over on it. *support & hugs are all i long for*
Audit really my cup of tea?
I hope i can find out the answer in real soon... perhaps after 3 months!
My ♥ midnight blue
A BIG SHOCKED to myself and everyone. I bang my car to the cement due to my careless. At that point of time, I was shocked until i dont know what to do. I took my phone and gave a call to my dad. My new car got serious damage :( (inside & outside). I really feel very heartache when i saw it. This really cause me fear to drive. argh.. why am i being so careless and panic..
From this incident, i know that everyone around me really care and sayang me alot. I appreciated it. The question that all of you asked me was in my mind. THE FIRST response that everyone gave is "are you hurt? are you injured?" Thanks ppl... im fine!
Count down one month - CHAPTER 22 new working life
Im excited that having a month of waiting period. LOL... *making alot of wish*
Can i have a special one? Will my previous wish accomplish in this year?
Wondering...
The day he walked away, i being silent and left everything to myself. I put all the blame on myself and try to be good. I guess l had learned a lesson from him and also others. Im glad and appreciated something unexpected happen since two weeks ago. I dare not to request or question anything even though i wish to know. Im always wondering... Yet i will accept all the fact. A GAME is just a GAME. When it started, it will continue till it come to the time of GAME OVER.
*Are there any memories that can be delete permanently?*
*what does it means when you said you can't delete me from your mind?*
*and where were you when i need you the most at crucial period?*
*do you actually look into my eyes, put me in mind?*
*Stop thinking nonsense, TANYIQIAN!!!*
A real working life
Being in the real working life is not as fun as i thought. First day of working, it is nice to meet and know so many people there. However, everything is so new to me. I felt so strange. EVeryone are there for me, all friends and family are giving full support to me. I really don't wish to disappointed them. I got no confident to cope with it yet i must force myself to adapt and get over on it. *support & hugs are all i long for*
Audit really my cup of tea?
I hope i can find out the answer in real soon... perhaps after 3 months!
My ♥ midnight blue
A BIG SHOCKED to myself and everyone. I bang my car to the cement due to my careless. At that point of time, I was shocked until i dont know what to do. I took my phone and gave a call to my dad. My new car got serious damage :( (inside & outside). I really feel very heartache when i saw it. This really cause me fear to drive. argh.. why am i being so careless and panic..
From this incident, i know that everyone around me really care and sayang me alot. I appreciated it. The question that all of you asked me was in my mind. THE FIRST response that everyone gave is "are you hurt? are you injured?" Thanks ppl... im fine!
Count down one month - CHAPTER 22 new working life
Im excited that having a month of waiting period. LOL... *making alot of wish*
Can i have a special one? Will my previous wish accomplish in this year?
Wondering...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
反省
问题总是出现在我身上
事情总是重复的再发生
我需要反省
我需要改变
我需要学习
我需要努力
我需要坚强
我需要勇气
我需要放手
我需要放开
我需要开心
我需要支持
我需要强心剂
往后的日子
我会好好过
不让你再失望
不让你再对我心灰
不让你再为我而烦恼
事情总是重复的再发生
我需要反省
我需要改变
我需要学习
我需要努力
我需要坚强
我需要勇气
我需要放手
我需要放开
我需要开心
我需要支持
我需要强心剂
往后的日子
我会好好过
不让你再失望
不让你再对我心灰
不让你再为我而烦恼
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
enjoy life :)
6 - 9 - 2010
Tea session again with my bro + buddy. Had a nice breakfast :) Feel great to have listener & companion.
7 - 9 - 2010
Nice dinner with 3 smart guys. I enjoys the dinner and also great that bak & aaron came to find me. Appreciated alot ~
8 - 9 - 2010
Dinner @ jo jo, SS15. Later on, went to snowflakes. First time i went there. I like the pearl milk tea and the green tea muachi :)
9 - 9 - 2010
meet up with babe gen & loong. Bak kut teh as lunch. I just had this a week ago. After lunch, we head to sunway pyramid for movie. While waiting for movie time, chill @ MCD and alot of chit chat. Movie of the day - GROWN UP! Even though its funny, i just can't laugh from the bottom of my heart. We had our dinner @ BBQ PLAza.
Have a nice night walk at KL bukit bintang area... Just addicted to the atmostphere there. how nice is it if i can have a drink there :p I want night life pls...
10 - 9 - 2010
Family day - went KLCC with family as they are keen to visit the book fest which im not interested at all. Just a companion for them, and i follow. At first, plan to have a walk in Suria KLCC. But im so headache with the crowded, so i decided to sit @ starbucks with my phone & magazine. Thanks Aaron kor kor that he left his mummy and come to meet me! I feel better after have a talk with him. Really feel grateful to have a kor kor who care of me. I really don't wish to lose it in someday. I hope it won't happen in my life.
Night session - First time went to Sherperdoo. First time tried the beer name Kilkenny. First time drive after a glass of beer. argh ~ i wanna drink again :)
11 - 9 - 2010
Went bak kut teh again for lunch :p but this time is different shop. First time i tried this.. not bad.. Another kor kor who care of me :)
12 - 9 - 2010
Have brunch with my two ♥ sisters @ setia alam. Later on, tea session @ starbucks! My beloved green tea blended again :) Can't stop from drinking it. truly addicted :p
I decided not to hide anymore and tell the truth. Im glad that she didn't scold me and support me, comfort me, care me all the way. I feel so nice to have them with me. I enjoys the moments, i wish the time never move and it stop here, so that we can be stay longer together.
DInner time @ Pasta Zamai, Empire Gallery. Oh, its my first time i been there :) FAmily dinner tonight!! THE PASTA is NiCe.. but i still prefer SushI ZAMAI
Movie time with family - CAt & DOG. Fulfil my little sis's want as she like cat & dog so much. lol.. Short length of movie and i feel so so only.
Tea session again with my bro + buddy. Had a nice breakfast :) Feel great to have listener & companion.
7 - 9 - 2010
Nice dinner with 3 smart guys. I enjoys the dinner and also great that bak & aaron came to find me. Appreciated alot ~
8 - 9 - 2010
Dinner @ jo jo, SS15. Later on, went to snowflakes. First time i went there. I like the pearl milk tea and the green tea muachi :)
9 - 9 - 2010
meet up with babe gen & loong. Bak kut teh as lunch. I just had this a week ago. After lunch, we head to sunway pyramid for movie. While waiting for movie time, chill @ MCD and alot of chit chat. Movie of the day - GROWN UP! Even though its funny, i just can't laugh from the bottom of my heart. We had our dinner @ BBQ PLAza.
Have a nice night walk at KL bukit bintang area... Just addicted to the atmostphere there. how nice is it if i can have a drink there :p I want night life pls...
10 - 9 - 2010
Family day - went KLCC with family as they are keen to visit the book fest which im not interested at all. Just a companion for them, and i follow. At first, plan to have a walk in Suria KLCC. But im so headache with the crowded, so i decided to sit @ starbucks with my phone & magazine. Thanks Aaron kor kor that he left his mummy and come to meet me! I feel better after have a talk with him. Really feel grateful to have a kor kor who care of me. I really don't wish to lose it in someday. I hope it won't happen in my life.
Night session - First time went to Sherperdoo. First time tried the beer name Kilkenny. First time drive after a glass of beer. argh ~ i wanna drink again :)
11 - 9 - 2010
Went bak kut teh again for lunch :p but this time is different shop. First time i tried this.. not bad.. Another kor kor who care of me :)
12 - 9 - 2010
Have brunch with my two ♥ sisters @ setia alam. Later on, tea session @ starbucks! My beloved green tea blended again :) Can't stop from drinking it. truly addicted :p
I decided not to hide anymore and tell the truth. Im glad that she didn't scold me and support me, comfort me, care me all the way. I feel so nice to have them with me. I enjoys the moments, i wish the time never move and it stop here, so that we can be stay longer together.
DInner time @ Pasta Zamai, Empire Gallery. Oh, its my first time i been there :) FAmily dinner tonight!! THE PASTA is NiCe.. but i still prefer SushI ZAMAI
Movie time with family - CAt & DOG. Fulfil my little sis's want as she like cat & dog so much. lol.. Short length of movie and i feel so so only.
i had full outing for whole week
yet i still feeling lack of something
my days are so imperfect...
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Speechless
It's a complicated feeling I had now. I don't know how to tell and its hard to put it in words. This feeling cause me even more suffer. I hate this. I wonder what actually i want now. argh.. feeling so lost! I can't say anything now. The moment the decision was made, i should have expected this to be happen but i didn't...
I don't wish to bring trouble to people around me yet i keep doing so. Why can't i become stronger, why can't i cope with it myself... Depress :/
I don't have any idea what can i do now. SOmetimes i just feel like dump everything and leave here...
sorry for the emo post
i didn't mean to ~
sighs...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
我只不过是个路人
原来我不配
停留在你的生活中
为何要让我拥有
却要再次让我失去呢？
那我宁可从未拥有过！
停留在你的生活中
为何要让我拥有
却要再次让我失去呢？
那我宁可从未拥有过！
也许过程比结局重要，
但我却负荷不起失去的伤害。
他把我扶起，
累了，就把我狠狠的甩开，
然后离我而去。
再次跌的伤是否有痊愈的机会？
我不奢望他会再次回头看我，
也不奢望他会留恋、回忆什么
只希望他不会再轻易的伤害其他人
有我一个承受就够了
别伤害她人了，好吗？
Monday, September 6, 2010
New Chapter
Chapter 22: It's time to enjoy now. Work hard and PLAY even harder ~
Life is too short to be sad and hurt. Even though the pain that i suffer is tough, i will bear with it. Even though im not standing, i will enjoy being in hell. Don't try to push me down as you'll never know what will happen if u do so.
For all these that happened, I accepted the fact. I'll accept everything that given to me. I don't give a damn... I just believe in karma. What i suffer now, it wont last forever. What you enjoying now, if u don't appreciate then it wont last. Im kind to people, but everyone is trying to fool me around. I swear it will no longer happen. Im not deserve to be hurt like that.
Life is too short to be sad and hurt. Even though the pain that i suffer is tough, i will bear with it. Even though im not standing, i will enjoy being in hell. Don't try to push me down as you'll never know what will happen if u do so.
Start with new chapter - It should be more enjoyable, fun and happiness. I will play hard work hard and drink harder. This is life babe :)
qian ♥ in chapter 22
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)